We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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