I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
