dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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