For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
