Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.