hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
