Sponge bath it is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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