He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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