Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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