Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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