I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I want her autograph on my taint
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
