so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Drunk is a universal language darling
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
