is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
