that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
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