you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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