I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
