is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize