I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
