Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
