Moan for me like Helen Keller
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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