Having a random hookup so left but love u
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
