hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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