what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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