I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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