arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
