Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
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I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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