I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
