it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
