ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
