my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize