Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.