Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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(313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g

Replies (31) Good night (760) Bad night (2613)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants

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(816): I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants http://tfl.nu/4wl5

Replies (40) Good night (4524) Bad night (507)
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(914): View more from New York

ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol

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(914): ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol http://tfl.nu/wxs2

Replies (14) Good night (3922) Bad night (594)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish

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(920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish http://tfl.nu/24oc

Replies (27) Good night (5357) Bad night (776)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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(219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob

Replies (14) Good night (886) Bad night (3981)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.

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(724): noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success. http://tfl.nu/klpq

Replies (8) Good night (3428) Bad night (844)
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(630): View more from Illinois

btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts

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(630): btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts http://tfl.nu/hxut

Replies (4) Good night (3689) Bad night (896)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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(505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4

Replies (9) Good night (2768) Bad night (1072)
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(937): View more from Ohio

We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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(937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0

Replies (12) Good night (1739) Bad night (589)
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(585): View more from New York

20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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(585): 20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me. http://tfl.nu/kxs1

Replies (4) Good night (1543) Bad night (455)
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(937): View more from Ohio

No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.

(502): View more from Kentucky

And if not?

(937): View more from Ohio

...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?

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(937): No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship. (502): And if not? (937): ...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you? http://tfl.nu/fwg8

Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (422)
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(607): View more from New York

I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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(607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m

Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (459)
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(214): View more from Texas

Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?

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(214): Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend? http://tfl.nu/qooe

Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (237)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I chugged that bitch with a dip in.

(614): View more from Ohio

You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.

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(937): I chugged that bitch with a dip in. (614): You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you. http://tfl.nu/o45c

Replies (2) Good night (572) Bad night (290)
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(416): View more from Toronto

whose parrot is this?

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(416): whose parrot is this? http://tfl.nu/79eu

Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (176)

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