Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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  (949): Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off. http://tfl.nu/n7xz
  Replies (18) Good night (639) Bad night (4736)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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  (208): just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/8lay
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (5774)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

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  (401): i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop. http://tfl.nu/anbh
  Replies (34) Good night (1977) Bad night (4558)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

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  (870): you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions. http://tfl.nu/7qp6
  Replies (29) Good night (8318) Bad night (766)
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  (916): View more from California

  And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.

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  (916): And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides. http://tfl.nu/gjkd
  Replies (29) Good night (1518) Bad night (3274)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper

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  (856): Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper http://tfl.nu/7rbt
  Replies (48) Good night (1166) Bad night (8134)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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  (401): You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice. http://tfl.nu/tgfk
  Replies (2) Good night (2572) Bad night (998)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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  (508): i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot http://tfl.nu/slrj
  Replies (6) Good night (1829) Bad night (1332)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game

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  (775): Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game http://tfl.nu/pqd8
  Replies (5) Good night (1841) Bad night (560)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night

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  (+44): Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night http://tfl.nu/u76q
  Replies (5) Good night (2140) Bad night (629)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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  (601): I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked. http://tfl.nu/gydy
  Replies (7) Good night (1569) Bad night (473)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?

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  (770): Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier? http://tfl.nu/rucv
  Replies (9) Good night (1710) Bad night (530)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.

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  (416): Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now. http://tfl.nu/rhwt
  Replies (12) Good night (265) Bad night (669)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.

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  (505): i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me. http://tfl.nu/ohrd
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (735)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it

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  (612): I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it http://tfl.nu/0efz
  Replies (0) Good night (579) Bad night (249)

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