like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.