i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE