Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!

  (301): View more from Maryland

  OMG! Ew.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lucky Dad.

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  (240): I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one! (301): OMG! Ew. (240): Lucky Dad. http://tfl.nu/dv3r
  Replies (29) Good night (773) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3727) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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  (813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831
  Replies (56) Good night (1610) Bad night (6125)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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  (507): Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over. http://tfl.nu/ztri
  Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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  (412): You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off.. http://tfl.nu/ermc
  Replies (14) Good night (5033) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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  (609): im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school... http://tfl.nu/h356
  Replies (13) Good night (1235) Bad night (2468)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.

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  (805): He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/7h8c
  Replies (13) Good night (1513) Bad night (5240)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"

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  (505): You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex" http://tfl.nu/srnr
  Replies (4) Good night (1551) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where's the fun in that?

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  (715): somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion. (920): where's the fun in that? http://tfl.nu/xkei
  Replies (1) Good night (1212) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.

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  (425): Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/epgz
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof

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  (907): Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof http://tfl.nu/yowz
  Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

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  (336): I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand. http://tfl.nu/v7rz
  Replies (4) Good night (901) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (365) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it

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  (607): I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it http://tfl.nu/h8wz
  Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"

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  (740): You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!" http://tfl.nu/ubz0
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (459)

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