508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
