well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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