I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
