saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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