To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
