Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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