I'm so fucking centered right now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
