Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
