he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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