New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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