yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
