i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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