how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
