I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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