When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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