You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
