filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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