Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
