we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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