No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
