Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sober January is a disaster.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
