it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
