Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
