she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
