she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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