i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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