I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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