we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
