Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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