i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
