Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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