me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
