i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
